Nearly everyone has a “one that got away.” Whether you dumped them and are regretting every second of it or they got rid of you and you were not ready for it, there is always that one ex who we just can’t let go of. While some say it happened and you should never look back, many others refuse to believe that this is the end. But fear no more, as the relationship coach is out there, ready to help.
The Real Hitch
If you have seen the movie Hitch, you will be familiar with the smooth dating coach portrayed by Will Smith, who helps men attract women. But does this fictional character really exist? Lee Wilson did not always have relationship knowledge. During his late teens, years he suffered from two “very painful” break-ups. While statistics show that the average person suffers from heartache twice in their life, Wilson wanted to do something about it. Meet the real-life Hitch.
Getting The Girls
Growing up, Lee Wilson began to realize that his days of bad dates and heartbreak were over and that he had something going for him. Throughout his college years, “when I wasn’t actively looking to be in a relationship,” Wilson noticed he had numerous girls asking him out. While he wasn’t as gifted as some other college guys in the looks department, there was something about his personality which drew many girls towards him. But that was just the beginning…
Finding His Niche
After studying theology, the study of the nature of God and religious belief, in college, Lee went on to work as a copywriter for a marriage guidance firm. Although he was not fully aware of his gift at the time, Lee found himself interested in the works of the firm. Rather than doing what he was hired to do, he was giving relationship advice to many of the clients. It seemed that he was a natural at it.
Learning The Ropes
In the end, Lee decided to follow a different career path, one he felt he was much more suited to. Leaving copywriting behind, he turned to coaching. Despite only having recently married his wife, Joanna, in 2000, he felt as though he knew enough. Lee was mentored by Dr. Joe Beam, a Ph.D. who specializes in the area of biomedical science with an emphasis in human attraction. He worked mostly with troubled marriages and it gave Lee an idea…
While working for Dr. Beam, Lee owned his own dating website and members of the site began to contact him with their relationship issues. He noticed that the majority of people turning to him were single people who would ask for help after they had been dumped. Not only were they anonymous strangers, but many of Lee’s requests were coming from people he knew and even his close friends. Suddenly, Lee saw potential and decided to turn his passion into a business.
The Ex Coach
12 years ago, ‘Dating Coach’ Lee Wilson, then rebranded himself as ‘The Ex Coach.’ Ever since, he has been receiving up to 14 calls a day from people who, just like Jackson 5 sang it, want their exes back. For years he was known through word-of-mouth, until 2017 when he offered his services on his site, MyExBackCoach.com. His clients, who come from all over including the USA, UK, Australia, and Ireland, all have one thing in common – they have loved and lost.
Giving Them Space
So what advice does the King of Exes give to these single people in need? He revealed, “I always tell people who come to me that you need to give the other person space and that means not texting them.” We are all guilty of thinking the best way to get an ex back is to try and avoid being out of sight and out of mind. However, Lee suggests “not constantly trying to contact them, telling them how much you miss them.”
Absence Is Power
According to the Ex Coach, “absence is power.” While calling your ex countless times and waiting on their doorstep generally works in the movies, just like when Allie fought for Noah back in the classic film, The Notebook, don’t go thinking the same will happen for you. Lee says, “Let them go and tell them that you respect the decision to end things and then let that person start to miss you and notice that you’re not there anymore.”
What Your Ex Is Thinking
While it is hard to have no contact, Lee Wilson has provided advice on his YouTube channel explaining what the other side is thinking. Wilson gives one word – relief. He says the ex will be feeling “relief” after the breakup and you will be feeling “crushed.” Therefore, by having no contact, your ex will go through a phase in order to start being afraid and curious “that they have blown it with you.”
The No Contact Rule
Most of Lee’s clients say that they fear without contact their ex will just move on. However, the Ex Coach disagrees. By “constantly asking them about the relationship,” even casually, they are going to know that you are “trying to get them back.” With contact, you become easily accessible and they will not have feelings of concern that they have lost you. In other words, contact makes it easier for them to move on!
When Not To Use No Contact
However, Coach Lee explains there are some exceptions to using no contact. If either your ex reaches out or you and your ex share children, property, or other business, the rule can be broken. While many other dating coaches say the no contact rule should be permanent, coach Lee believes there is a time limit. He says, “45 days if the relationship was up to 6 months. After a year it’s somewhere around a month and a half. And beyond that, it’s 2 months or more.”
If They Contact You
Let’s take the scenario that you made all the effort you can to stick to the no contact rule. There were times you almost texted your ex, even writing out a message, to then quickly delete it before clicking send. However, one day, your ex gets back in touch with you. What do you do? Lee says “When they then choose to contact you, it’s important to show them that you are in a positive place and could potentially move on.”
With all this advice, it seems like Lee Wilson is a man who speaks rather highly of himself in regards to his skills and knowledge. He believes he has a sort of magic touch when it comes to fixing relationships and especially can help those who want to get their exes back. Lee estimates that among his clients who follow his advice, there is a 55 to 75% success rate. But why not 100%? According to Lee, there are some factors beyond his control.
Although he has break-up superpowers, Lee admits that chances of reconciliation after a break-up are slim once three months have passed. Thinking highly of his work, he feels as though any failings in his coaching are a result of additional factors such as a long distance or there was a particularly bitter split. However, Lee does not give up, adding, “Normally, I find that my method is helpful in most instances, even the most extreme.” And one case certainly was extreme…
Even in the strangest of circumstances, Lee’s method can be put to the test with a positive result. One man came to him after his girlfriend had dumped him. She discovered that he had once been in jail, and even though it was for a crime he hadn’t committed, she wasn’t able to deal with the fact. Before meeting Lee he would phone her constantly to rescue their relationship, but a month after seeking his help, he finally got her back. It seems Lee’s method paid off.
Whether it may be a parent, a teacher, a mentor, or even a friend, we’d rather listen to those who have first-hand experience than those who have just read books and studied. So what has Lee been through in life that makes him worthy to comment? Lee says his own “rock solid” marriage has allowed him to coach others. He admitted, “Obviously, my marriage with Joanna has helped a lot with my work and vice versa.”
Object Of Desire
While it is great that Coach Lee can advise heartbroken singles, is he also able to avoid it happening in the first place? Lee’s main advice is “not to rush things, not to force anything or lock someone down.” Instead, he thinks it’s important to see your partner like everyone else, “Focus on your partner as a person and not as an object of desire – and if you do that, things should be a lot easier and more natural.”
Playing It Cool
Although it is easier said than done, Coach Lee likes to stress the importance of “playing it cool and not giving your ex too much attention.” While most amateurs would recommend against playing games and advise that it is best to be yourself, Lee’s advice is pretty much the opposite. Sometimes waiting a few hours to text, waiting a few days to see them, and waiting a while to move in with them is better.
Desperate And Grasping
Coach Lee learned that playing it cool was the way forward from his own life. For 19 years, Lee Wilson has been happily married to Joanna, 40, a stay-at-home-mom. Talking about his experiences, he said that it “was hugely helpful for me in my later career because afterward, I realized the value of not trying too hard.” He added, “The biggest and most common mistake people make when they’re trying to get back with their exes is to become desperate and grasping.”
A typical ex usually begs for forgiveness and asks to be taken back, “immediately putting themselves in a position of weakness” and trying to appeal to their ex’s mercy. However, surprise, surprise, it doesn’t work. Instead, Lee claims, “That nearly always just digs the hole even deeper, because they didn’t go out with that person in the first place through mercy – they did it because of love and attraction.” So how does Coach Lee aka the Ex Coach, make thousands every month?
Thousands A Month
So how much do you earn as a relationship coach? How does Lee Wilson manage to support his stay-at-home wife and two children just by giving struggling singletons a few simple relationship pointers? According to the egotistical coach himself, Lee claims he makes thousands of dollars a year just by teaching, training, and advising his clients how to manipulate their exes into taking them back. But what exactly is he charging these people? And is it all worth it?
38-year-old Lee Wilson of Nashville, Tennessee, has been in the business for over 20 years now and has become super successful. He advises around 4,000 people each year who have struggled in the realm of love and need a little guidance on how to act. Charging $87 for each half-hour session and $47 for an ’emergency break-up kit,’ including a video and text guide to rekindling a broken romance, Wilson is raking in the cash. So if you are struggling to win over your ex, you know what to do.