Trying to avoid the people of Walmart? Is your car in the shop and you can’t get a ride to the world’s largest employer to do your shopping? Sick of meandering down the aisles of Walmart for a toothbrush? Or maybe you’re just lazy? Luckily for you, the world’s largest company by revenue recently filed two patents for a “virtual reality showroom” at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
One analyst said that “Walmart knows that its stores are too big and unwieldy for people.” With this in mind, the company decided to invest in some virtual reality technology, filing over a dozen virtual reality patents and purchasing a virtual reality firm earlier this year. Most of these patents are for virtual corporate conference calls and other internal applications, but these two patents are specifically geared outwardly toward their clientele.
So once the showroom is up, all you will need to do to avoid going all the way down to Walmart is buy a virtual reality headset and “sensor-packed gloves.” Once you get the equipment, you’ll be ready to dive straight into the simulated Walmart environment from the comfort of your own home – strolling around, picking up items just to feel them out.
Once you pick up the item to make your purchase, it will automatically be sent to you. Finally, someone found a way to cut out the retail stores and getting items shipped to you from the comfort of your own home!
But wait, I feel like this issue has already been solved…that’s right, Amazon solved the problem of having to physically go to stores years ago! It seems that Walmart is attempting to compete with Amazon in this corner of the retail market. Although it’s a decade late, better late than never.
Now let’s take a moment to consider Walmart’s strategy to take customers back from Amazon: to compete with the e-commerce giant, which offers convenient and efficient shopping from home at the click of a button, did Walmart really decide its best course of action is to offer the consumer overly expensive virtual reality equipment so he or she can experience “sensory feedback,” just to recreate a relatively inconvenient and frankly unpleasant shopping experience?
Maybe Walmart should just stick to what’s always worked for them: physical stores.
Some couples enjoy the idea of keeping things exciting in their relationship and some couples go as far as committing the ultimate pranks on each other. But sometimes, the prankster isn’t the one left laughing…
How It All Began
Simon, 33, and Leandra thought they were an ordinary couple – they have two children and they love each other very much. What happened to them after a funny prank was very much out of the ordinary, however. It all started one day when Simon got home from work and from there, the whole week took a turn for the weird. Whatever you think happened, it was more surprising and hilarious than that. There is no doubt Simon learned his lesson.
Under The Weather
When the telecommunications engineer and boxing enthusiast Simon came home from work one day feeling under the weather, he walked through the door and immediately began to complain to his wife. He was expecting her to be sympathetic but quickly began to realize that she was not in the mood to give him the response he was after. Soon his wife would learn that two could play that game.
She Wasn’t Having It
Simon and Leandra had been married for quite a few years and had two children together. So Simon probably knew his wife pretty well by now, and that she was not the type to coddle him the minute he felt a bit under the weather. After all, she herself was busy looking after the house and raising two young children – it’s easy to imagine that this woman was pretty exhausted herself. So it shouldn’t have surprised Simon when instead of a foot massage and a sympathetic ear, he got a different response…
Leandra had little sympathy for Simon’s exhaustion. Instead, she was concerned that he was working and doing far too much, and she suspected that he had brought whatever sickness this was on himself. But Simon apparently didn’t appreciate her attitude; “I came in after work feeling a bit tired and unwell – my wife was doing the usual concerned bit but said I was burning the candle at both ends and was basically just whining at me.” He was not happy…
He Couldn’t Handle It
Simon couldn’t get over the fact that Leandra wasn’t playing nice. In his mind, it was her wifely duty to nurse him back to health and take pity on him. Instead, he had gotten an earful of criticism that he just didn’t need to hear at that moment. He boiled over with resentment and got really fed up with Leandra. Usually, when this happens in a marriage, there is bound to be some sort of argument. But instead of telling Leandra how he felt, Simon had another idea…
A ‘Funny’ Prank
Simon wanted to show Leandra exactly how he felt about her attitude. He decided to pull a prank on Leandra that would allow him to insult her and blow off some steam, having a laugh at her expense. It would turn out that this man had a pretty controversial sense of humor that not everyone would find so funny. As he recalls, this was his immediate reaction to his wife’s response: “I thought: ‘Right, I’m going to put you up for sale’.” But this was just the beginning…
He Listed Her On eBay
How, exactly, did Simon intend to sell his wife, now that it’s the 21st century and human trafficking is largely frowned upon? Simon took to the popular auctioning website, eBay, and made a listing for Leandra that insultingly listed her as a “used wife!” He thought this would be a funny way to embarrass her while letting her know that he did not appreciate her “unwifely” behavior. And if the listing title sounded bad, the rest of the post was about to get a whole lot worse…
For Sale – One Wife
Simon, who is a motorcycle enthusiast, decided to use some used-vehicle wordplay to make the post funnier. “For sale one wife. Not new has been used but still got some good miles left in her.” He then made it clear why he didn’t want to keep his wife anymore: “Reason for selling? I’ve had my fill and feel like there has to be someone (oh dear God please let there be).” But the offensive text didn’t stop there, as Simon continued to describe his wife’s features.
Still In Decent Shape
Continuing with the used vehicle language, Simon went on to describe his wife’s “good points” in detail, writing, “Good points: Body work and paint work still in decent shape and has some skills in the kitchen.” Apparently, if women were tradeable commodities, his wife would not rate too badly, as according to Simon she was still decent looking and could cook to some degree. But Simon was not about to give Leandra too much credit, and quickly went on to list her less attractive features..
Shiny Parts Of Metal
“Bad points: Often makes this noise that cannot be silenced unless you order brand new shiny parts of metal.” This was probably meant to imply that his wife would complain or nag him often or simply talk too much, but buying her jewelry would “silence” this “noise” for a while. And while Leandra’s cooking skills were decent, they could also sometimes be a liability, as Simon so eloquently added: “Sometimes them skills in the kitchen result in you ending up in hospital.”
Exchange For A Younger Model
And the used car analogies continued as Simon gave an overall assessment for any potential buyers: “All in all not a bad model for the year, I’m sure some lucky guy will get lots of use.” And if all that wasn’t bad enough, he added, “Offers welcome, may consider a part exchange for a younger model.” Simon was really laying on the tongue-in-cheek humor thick, and even suggesting that he would be happy to get a “younger model” in exchange for his wife.
Once Bought, You Cannot Return
Simon ended the ad by letting eBay know that all sales were final: “*T&C’s Once bought, you cannot return … EVER!” he concluded. Simon thought he had made a hilarious and witty ad that would accomplish his goal of getting back at Leandra by embarrassing and insulting her by likening her to a used motorbike. But understandably, once Leandra discovered what he had done, she didn’t think this was half as funny as he did. In fact, she was not amused at all…
Leandra, who is a beauty therapist, had to find out from her work colleagues that her husband had put her up for sale on eBay… and she was not amused, to say the least. “I was absolutely fuming – I wanted to kill him,” she told Daily Mail. “Everyone at work saw it and were laughing their heads off.” Simon had accomplished his mission of having his revenge on Leandra, and even though it was all a joke, it clearly wasn’t funny for her. So what did she do?
Such A Bad Photo
And it seems the fact that Simon put Leandra up for sale wasn’t the worst part. She continued to explain what ticked her off about the whole ordeal: “Not only did he put me up for sale but he used such a bad photo.” Doubly humiliated, Leandra must have been wondering if marrying this guy had been the best decision if this was his idea of humor. However, even though she was angry, she couldn’t help but be mildly amused by what happened next…
Some Strange Inquiries
According to Simon, he received several creepy messages from potential buyers asking to see more photos of Leandra. It just goes to show that when you try to sell a woman on the internet – even as a joke – you are bound to attract some unsavory characters. While those messages made everyone uncomfortable, Simon claimed most of the responses were funny, like one commenter who asked, “What are the emissions like?” He began to show Leandra some of the messages in an effort to calm her anger.
How Much Bacon
Although Leandra was understandably very annoyed at Simon, she managed to enjoy the humor of some messages they received: “We both liked the guy looking to exchange her for a camel, and the guy trying to work out how much bacon he could get really got us howling,” recalls Simon. Little did he know that while he was busy feeling self-satisfied about the success of the joke and enjoying the comedic responses to his ad, his little stunt was about to backfire, big time…
A Bidding War
Regardless of how offensive and crude it was, both Leandra and Simon knew this was all a joke. However, many people browsing on eBay somehow didn’t pick up on that and started a bidding war over Leandra! Even though Simon had made it clear that he was ready to “trade in” this woman, the bidders on eBay clearly thought otherwise, bad photo and all. While some people who made bids were probably in on the joke, it seemed some people actually took the ad seriously.
Another Woman For Sale
This isn’t the first time a guy turned to eBay for a humorous jab at his significant other. When Kelly Greaves of Essex, Britain playfully whipped her boyfriend Dale Leeks in a horse riding shop, he decided to get his revenge on her by using the same tactic. He posted her for sale on eBay as “Girlfriend” in the “For Parts or Not Working” category! His description was just as rude as Simon’s, if not worse. He described his long-time girlfriend as a used car with a “constant whining noise,” whose bodywork was “showing signs of wear.”
Her Worth Reached $119,000
Similarly, when Leeks published the ad, he was simply trying to play a prank on Greaves, who had always taken his childish humor in stride. She and her friends thought the ad was hilarious, and she even posted it on her Facebook page. She knew that Leeks didn’t want the whole prank to go very far and thought nobody had seen the ad except her Facebook friends. But then a bidding war ensued, with Greaves’ final “price” reaching a whopping $119,000 before eBay took the post down.
It turns out that a serious bidding war had begun over his “used wife.” It turned out she wasn’t such a bad catch after all, and the bids just kept getting higher and higher. Were people actually trying to buy his wife? As Leandra’s price soared, someone at eBay must have taken notice that there was a guy trying to sell his wife. As it obviously violated the rules, eBay was forced to take the ad down…but not before the bids for Leandra had reached over 65,000 British pounds – equivalent to $80,000! Was Leandra relieved?
Leandra was, understandably, still quite annoyed at her husband. But once the post was up and people started to bid, her ego had gotten the best of her and she ended up being quite curious over what people would pay for her. She was stuck in an awkward situation – on the one hand, her husband had royally ticked her off by using terms that would be insulting even for a second-hand motorbike. But now, she was quite enjoying the fact that others would shell out quite a bit of cash for her.
They Were Slightly Disappointed
One thing Leandra and Simon had both agreed on is that they were slightly disappointed that the ad got taken down. “I was disappointed the listing was taken down, mainly because I wanted to see how high it would go, but it was for laugh so I wasn’t actually gutted,” Simon said. Even though Leandra was angry, she was also left wondering how much she could have gone for: “If eBay hadn’t taken the listing down, who knows how much I would have got.”
She’s Too Good
But Simon reassured, “It wasn’t like I’d actually let someone have her – she’s too good.” Simon realized that his wife was justifiably angry at him for this off-color joke gone wrong. He decided that if he was going to get back in her good graces, she was going to need a chance to humiliate him in return. He decided to use his hobby, boxing, to give Leandra a chance at revenge for putting her up for sale, and he live-streamed it on Facebook…
Justice In The Ring
Ever the good sport, Leandra jumped at the chance to get revenge. In the staged “match” Leandra is seen playfully boxing her husband and he allows her to take out all her anger. There are few things more satisfying than watching Leandra giving Simon a good whack for his awful and offensive sense of humor in a playful way. It seems that in the end, Leandra got the last word in with a boxing glove, and hopefully, the two have evened the score.